As we strive to improve and apply the things we have learned in order to become better people, we have to remember who we do it for. It cannot be only for ourselves, or it's not truly improvement.
1 This morning I would like to teach of another divine attribute--a quality which, when it becomes part of our lives, produces as an outgrowth individuals who are happy in their relationships with others and at peace with themselves and those around them: siblings who enjoy each other more; married couples who cherish their relationships; those who are alone, for whatever reason, who find a fuller and more abundant life. You see, there are those among us today who are completely selfless--as was he.
A selfless person is one who is more concerned about the happiness and well-being of another than about his or her own convenience or comfort, one who is willing to serve another when it is neither sought for nor appreciated, or one who is willing to serve even those whom he or she dislikes. A selfless person displays a willingness to sacrifice, a willingness to purge from his or her mind and heart personal wants, and needs, and feelings. Instead of reaching for and requiring praise and recognition for himself, or gratification of his or her own wants, the selfless person will meet these very human needs for others. Remember the words of the Savior as he taught his disciples on an occasion when personal recognition was being sought: “But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, … whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42–45.)
2 When the magnificent ocean liner Lusitania plunged to the bottom of the Atlantic, many lives were lost with the vessel. Unknown are many deeds of valor performed by those who perished. One man who went down with the Lusitania gave his life preserver to a woman, though he could not swim a stroke. It didn’t really matter that he was Alfred Vanderbilt, the American multimillionaire. He did not give of worldly treasure; he gave his life. Said Emerson, “Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself.” (“Gifts,” in The Complete Writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson, New York: Wm. H. Wise and Co., 1929, p. 286.)
3 François de la Rochefoucauld observed, “One of the reasons why so few people are to be found who seem sensible and pleasant in conversation is that almost everybody is thinking about what he wants to say himself, rather than about answering clearly what is said to him.”
4 To do the special things given to this generation, you will need to guard against selfishness. One of the tendencies most individuals have which simply must be overcome is the tendency to be selfish. All that you can do now while you are young and are more pliant to become less selfish and more selfless will be an important and lasting contribution to the quality of your life in the years, and in the eternity, to come. You will be a much better wife or a much better husband, a better mother or a better father, if you can change the tendency to be selfish. Your children whom you will not know for a few years yet have an interest in your conquest of selfishness.
5 And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
6 Selfishness is actually the detonator of all the cardinal sins. It is the hammer for the breaking of the Ten Commandments, whether by neglecting parents, the Sabbath, or by inducing false witness, murder, and envy. No wonder the selfish individual is often willing to break a covenant in order to fix an appetite. No wonder those who will later comprise the telestial kingdom, after they have paid a price, were once unrepentant adulterers, whoremongers, and those who both loved and made lies.
The early and familiar forms of selfishness are: building up self at the expense of others, claiming or puffing credit, being glad when others go wrong, resenting the genuine successes of others, preferring public vindication to private reconciliation, and taking “advantage of one because of his words” (2 Ne. 28:8).
7 Selfishness, viewed in its true sense, is the absence of empathy and compassion, the abandonment of brotherhood, the rejection of God’s plan, the isolation of one’s soul.
8 To quote a sentence from Cromwell: “I beseech you, … Think it possible that you may be mistaken.”
9 In one degree or another we all struggle with selfishness. Since it is so common, why worry about selfishness anyway? Because selfishness is really self-destruction in slow motion. No wonder the Prophet Joseph Smith urged, “Let every selfish feeling be not only buried, but annihilated” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 178). Hence annihilation--not moderation--is the destination!
10 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
11 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
12 Selflessness is righteousness. It embraces the true spirit of companionship. It is the very essence of friendship. It is the portrayer of true love and oneness in humanity. Its reward is the freeing of the soul, a nearness to divinity, a worthiness for the companionship of the Spirit. Every requirement that God’s plan for our salvation places upon us is based on the giving of one’s self.
13 The Latter-day Saints have got to learn that the interest of their brethren is their own interest, or they never can be saved in the celestial kingdom of God (DBY, 271).
14 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
15 Naturally, we all have a desire for recognition, and there is nothing wrong with relaxing and enjoying ourselves. But when seeking the “gain and praise of the world" is a central part of our motivation, we will miss the redemptive and joyful experiences that come when we give generously of ourselves to the work of the Lord.
What is the remedy? The answer, as always, lies in the words of Christ: “Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.”
Those who wholeheartedly turn their lives over to our Savior and serve God and fellowman discover a richness and fulness to life that the selfish or egotistic will never experience. The unselfish give of themselves. These may be small gifts of charity that have a grand impact for good: a smile, a handshake, a hug, time spent in listening, a soft word of encouragement, or a gesture of caring. All these acts of kindness can change hearts and lives. When we take advantage of the unlimited opportunities to love and serve our fellowmen, including our spouse and family, our capacity to love God and to serve others will greatly increase.
16 “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, … [and] goodness.” (Gal. 5:22.) Everyone who belongs to His church wants to reach out--not because he is directed in an institutional or organizational way--to serve, love, aid, succor, and care for others with kindness and genuine concern. In humble, selfless ways each of us can be a light to others who may secretly or silently be longing or even praying to find that sense of belonging. My brothers and sisters, this type of caring, of nurturing, can never be accomplished by mandate or calendar, but comes because one has within himself that sense of belonging--feels its power, joy, goodness, and becomes concerned about all of God’s children.
17 Selflessness is a beautifully expressive word. It is a divine word expressing a divine pattern of living. I testify of the selflessness of the Savior. I testify that through his life, his atoning sacrifice, and his resurrection, he has made possible resurrection for all mankind, and eternal life for the obedient. I know that he lives! In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Younger Elder Brooksby
1-Selflessness: A Pattern for Happiness by H. Burke Peterson, April 1985 General Conference
2-"Anonymous” by Thomas S. Monson, April 1983 General Conference
3-Your Eternal Home by Thomas S. Monson, April 2000 General Conference
4-President Kimball Speaks Out on Planning Your Life by Spencer W. Kimball, June 1982 Liahona
5-Mosiah 2:17
6-“Repent of Our Selfishness” by Neal A. Maxwell, April 1999 General Conference
7-Selfless Service by William R. Bradford, October 1987 General Conference
8-Should the Commandments Be Rewritten? by Richard L. Evans, October 1971 General Conference
9-“Repent of Our Selfishness” by Neal A. Maxwell, April 1999 General Conference
10-Matthew 6:25
11-Matthew 16:25-26
12-Selfless Service by William R. Bradford, October 1987 General Conference
13-Teachings of Presidents: Brigham Young-Chapter 30: Developing Christlike Attitudes toward Others
14-Romans 12:3
15-Are You Sleeping through the Restoration? by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2014 General Conference
16-The Gospel of Jesus Christ and Basic Needs of People by James E. Paramore, April 1983 General Conference
17-Selflessness: A Pattern for Happiness by H. Burke Peterson, April 1985 General Conference
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