CHAPTER 3
To forgive others gives us an opportunity to be forgiven ourselves and opens to us God's kingdom.
1 Forgiveness is a personal attribute, not just an action we undertake when necessary. To have a forgiving heart is to see the world in a different light. It is forsaking the tendency to judge, condemn, exclude, or hate any human soul. A forgiving heart seeks to love and to be patient with imperfection. A forgiving heart understands that we all need the Atonement of Jesus Christ. If we have a forgiving heart, our very nature will be Christlike--kind, patient, long-suffering, and charitable. In its fullest expression, forgiveness is synonymous with charity, the pure love of Christ. It plants and nourishes the seeds of Christlike love in both the giver and the receiver. Those who reject the forgiving heart and choose instead to harbor resentments, bitterness, and revenge see the world as a dark place. They are quick to take offense, always assuming the worst in others’ motives. They feel the pain of human relationships more intensely. They are intolerant of differences between themselves and others. Such persons tend to be lonely because they can find no one to meet their standards. They are often no more forgiving of their own faults than they are of the faults of others. They are sometimes even angry with God and want to blame him for the frustrations of their lives. Joy finds no place in their hearts.
2 Unless we extend forgiveness to others, our lives may be poisoned by anger and hard feelings. Past hurts can magnify as they accumulate, and once-loving relationships can become damaged beyond repair. One of the best ways to teach forgiveness is to practice the principle yourself. Agree with your partner to honestly try to forgive--and forget--past wrongs. Look to the future, not to the past. Once an event is over, you can’t go back in time and change your actions, no matter how badly you might want to. Reviving old hurts can only damage a relationship; it is never a positive step. It’s also important to forgive ourselves for errors we’ve made, and to learn to honestly accept forgiveness from others. Dwelling on mistakes made in the past can affect our behavior to the point we become both physically and mentally ill.
3 We may never forget our mistakes. This is actually a blessing from the Savior; it is a way of reminding us that the experience was painful and that we should not repeat our transgressions, for “unto that soul who sinneth shall the former sins return, saith the Lord your God” (D&C 82:7). But when we are forgiven, our past sins are no longer a part of us. We are free from them. We may have to suffer some of the long-lasting consequences, but we will no longer feel weighed down by guilt or regret.
4 I hope you will not think it simplistic to suggest that it is the “little things” like family prayer and family home evening that are important. Little things like a father helping his children say their nightly prayers and telling them a bedtime story instead of watching TV. Little things like making time in the family schedule for reading the scriptures. Little things like a husband being big enough to say, “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I should not have said that. I’m going to do better.” Or a mother saying to a child, “I’m sorry I became angry. Please forgive me.” Yes, it is the little things that we do each day and each week that make the difference.
5 If we learn to forgive one another within the family, we will be able to forgive more readily within the Church and within the community. Like many good things, forgiveness begins in the home. We must remember to teach our children that even if others fail to be kind and considerate, we ought to be slow to condemn and very quick to forgive. We need not be tolerant of sin, but we must become tolerant and forgiving of the sinner. Jesus Christ gave his life to reconcile us to God so that through his atonement we can repent and receive forgiveness of our sins. We owe our Savior a great debt. Part of that debt is the obligation we have to forgive one another.
6 It remains only for you and me to both seek and tender that forgiveness--to both repent and to extend charity to others--which enables us to pass through the door the Savior holds open, thus to cross the threshold from this life into exaltation. Today is the day to forgive others their trespasses, secure in the knowledge that the Lord will thus forgive ours. As Luke significantly recorded, “Be ye therefore merciful” (Luke 6:36). Perfection may elude us here, but we can be merciful. And in the end, repenting and forgiving are among God’s chief requirements of us.
7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy” (3 Ne. 12:7). Mercy is the quality of soul necessary for forgiveness; those who forgive others will be forgiven of their own offenses. Recognizing our own shortcomings makes it easier to extend mercy to others.
8 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
9 The spirit must be freed from tethers so strong and feelings never put to rest, so that the lift of life may give buoyancy to the soul. In many families, there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. George Herbert, an early 17th-century poet, wrote these lines: “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven, for everyone has need of forgiveness.”
10 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
11 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
12 This is not to say that forgiveness is easy. When someone has hurt us or those we care about, that pain can almost be overwhelming. It can feel as if the pain or the injustice is the most important thing in the world and that we have no choice but to seek vengeance. But Christ, the Prince of Peace, teaches us a better way. It can be very difficult to forgive someone the harm they’ve done us, but when we do, we open ourselves up to a better future. No longer does someone else’s wrongdoing control our course. When we forgive others, it frees us to choose how we will live our own lives. Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts.
13 My brothers and sisters, let us bind up the wounds--oh, the many wounds that have been caused by cutting words, by stubbornly cultivated grievances, by scheming plans to “get even” with those who may have wronged us. We all have a little of this spirit of revenge in us. Fortunately, we all have the power to rise above it, if we will “clothe [ourselves] with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace” (D&C 88:125).
14 Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way. Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive. Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy. Of this I testify in the name of the One who loved so well and so completely that He gave His life for us, His friends--in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Younger Elder Brooksby
1-The Forgiving Heart by Roderick J. Linton, June 1998 Liahona
2-Teaching Children about Forgiveness: A Guide for Parents, February 1988 Liahona
3-Questions and Answers, November 1999 Liahona
4-The Temple Is a Family Affair by J. Ballard Washburn, April 1995 General Conference
5-To Forgive Is Divine by Theodore M. Burton, April 1983 General Conference
6-Today by Lance B. Wickman, May 2008 Liahona
7-The Beatitudes: Pathway to the Savior by S. Michael Wilcox, November 1991 Liahona
8-Matthew 6:14-15
9-Hidden Wedges by Thomas S. Monson, July 2002 Liahona
10-Ephesians 4:31-32
11-D&C 64:9
12-Forgiveness Will Change Bitterness to Love by David E. Sorensen, May 2003 Liahona
13-Of You It Is Required to Forgive by Gordon B. Hinkley, November 1991 Liahona
14-The Merciful Obtain Mercy by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2012 General Conference
No comments:
Post a Comment