CHAPTER 6
Friends are meant to support and uplift, so whether or not you are the one being a friend, or even the one who needs friends, this is a principal to learn.
1 The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism.’” That thought ought to inspire and motivate all of us because I feel that friendship is a fundamental need of our world. I think in all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give. Perhaps one reason the scriptures make little specific mention of the principle of friendship is because it should be manifest quite naturally as we live the gospel. In fact, if the consummate Christian attribute of charity has a first cousin, it is friendship. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul slightly, friendship “suffereth long, and is kind; [friendship] envieth not; … seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; … [friendship] never faileth.”
2 Through our heartfelt kindness and service, we can make friends with those whom we serve. From these friendships come better understanding of our devotion to the gospel and a desire to learn more about us.
3 There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare. Certainly the word friend is misused if it is identified with a person who contributes to our delinquency, misery, and heartaches. When we make a man feel he is wanted, his whole attitude changes. Our friendship will be recognizable if our actions and attitudes result in improvement and independence.
How can we help a friend? An Arabian proverb helps us answer: “A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one’s heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.”
4 Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
5 It is well for us to be reminded that we are friends to ourselves when we keep our lives unspotted from the sins of the world and leave ourselves better tomorrow than we are today. It is a worthy daily goal to be a true friend to one’s self. Our responsibility to the widow and the fatherless is to accept them as we find them, but to not leave them without improvement. Ours is to lift the heavy heart, say the encouraging word, and assist in supplying the daily needs.
6 Let us reach out in friendship and love to our neighbors, including those of other faiths, thus helping to build better family-to-family relationships and greater harmony in our neighborhoods. Remember, too often our behavior is a bigger deterrent to others than is our doctrine. In the spirit of love for all men, women, and children, help them to understand and to feel accepted and appreciated.
7 President Abraham Lincoln was once criticized for his attitude toward his enemies. “Why do you try to make friends of them?” asked an associate. “You should try to destroy them.” “Am I not destroying my enemies,” Lincoln gently replied, “when I make them my friends?”
8 Since the Lord wants you to have good friendships, He will help you develop them. You can make developing friendships a matter of prayer. Tell the Lord how you feel and ask for help and comfort. Ask for courage.
Shyness may spring from the fear of not being accepted or from a low sense of self-worth. We need to remember that we are children of God and that He loves us--even with all our flaws. We need to pray and seek guidance in overcoming our weaknesses.
9 And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before.
10 The fellowship of true friends who can hear you out, share your joys, help carry your burdens, and correctly counsel you is priceless. For one who has been in the prison of depression, the words of the Prophet Joseph Smith have special meaning when he said, “How sweet the voice of a friend is; one token of friendship from any source whatever awakens and calls into action every sympathetic feeling.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 134.)
11 Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of that song, “He ain’t heavy; he’s my brother.”
12 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
13 President Gordon B. Hinckley admonished: “Be friendly. Be understanding. Be tolerant. Be considerate. Be respectful of the opinions and feelings of other people. Recognize their virtues; don’t look for their faults. Look for their strengths and virtues, and you will find strength and virtues which will be helpful in your own life” (television interview with Phil Riesen, Salt Lake City, Utah, 12 May 1995).
14 We have two great challenges, you and I, and the challenge never ends as long as breath lasts: to choose him and to love each other. Then we may be sure we will know him in this world and at last in that kingdom which is not of this world, where “God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Rev. 21:3–4).
God bless us that we may meet the test, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Younger Elder Brooksby
1-Friendship: A Gospel Principle by Marlin K. Jensen, April 1999 General Conference
2-Finding Joy through Loving Service by M. Russell Ballard, April 2011 General Conference
3-What Is a Friend? by Marvin J. Ashton, October 1972 General Conference
4-John 15:15
5-What Is a Friend? by Marvin J. Ashton, October 1972 General Conference
6-Beware of False Prophets and False Teachers by M. Russell Ballard, October 1999 General Conference
7-What Is a Friend? by Marvin J. Ashton, October 1972 General Conference
8-Questions and Answers, August 2000 Liahona
9-Job 42:10
10-Do Not Despair by Ezra Taft Benson, October 1974 General Conference
11-To the “Youth of the Noble Birthright” by Ezra Taft Benson, April 1986 General Conference
12-D&C 121:9
13-“We Don’t Want You Here” by Sam Giles, June 1999 Liahona
14-Willing to Receive by Marion D. Hanks, April 1980 General Conference
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